he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm too high and old for this...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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