Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
