why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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