hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
