Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
