I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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