So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
