scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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