the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We have so much sex to catch up on
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
