I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
