and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
