Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You're like the curious george of whores
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize