You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
