I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
