There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no you cant smoke seaweed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
