this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
