Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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