this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize