Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
