I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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