I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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