The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
