He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
