It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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