Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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