Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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