i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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