At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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