Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
