I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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