sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
