Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
