I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
