Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
