how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
