I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
