4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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