Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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