you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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