You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
