I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
