Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
