I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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