The maid of honor just puked.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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