Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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