some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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