I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
