Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
