It's just like the Real World with babies
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
