I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
