what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
