i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
