what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
