toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Umm I'm too high to move.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
