Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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