i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
