another moral hangover. fuck.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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