my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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