ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
