Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize