Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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