U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
