So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
