Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
wat bout pragnant strippers??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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