three words: i give head
three words: not that well
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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