The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
